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On occasion, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles feels he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his grandiose moments frequently escalate into “really delusional”, he explains. You’re riding high and you’re like, ‘Everyone’s going to know that I’m better than them … I’m destined for greatness for the world’.”

Regarding his experience, these times of heightened ego are often succeeded by a “sudden low”, during which he feels overwhelmed and self-conscious about his conduct, leaving him particularly vulnerable to disapproval from external sources. He came to wonder he might have NPD after looking up his traits through digital sources – and subsequently evaluated by a clinician. Yet, he is skeptical he would have accepted the diagnosis without having previously arrived at that realization on his own. “If you try to tell somebody that they have NPD, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he says – especially if they harbor a sense of being better. They operate in an altered state that they made for themselves. And within that framework, I am superior and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying The Condition

While people have been labelled as narcissists for over 100 years, the meaning can be ambiguous what is meant by the diagnosis. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” says a psychology professor, noting the word is “overused” – but when it comes to a professional assessment, he suggests many people keep it private, as there is so much stigma around the condition. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “a heightened sense of self”, “impaired compassion”, and “a strategy of using people to bolster one’s self-esteem through actions such as displaying material goods,” the professor clarifies. Those with NPD may be “extremely narcissistic”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he emphasizes.

Emotional connections were never important about anyone really, so I didn’t invest in relationships seriously

Gender Differences in NPD Presentation

Although a significant majority of people found to have the condition are men, research indicates this figure does not mean there are fewer narcissistic women, but that narcissism in women is more often presented in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is often overlooked. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be more socially permissible, as with everything in society,” explains a young adult who discusses her co-occurring conditions on online channels. Frequently, the two disorders appear together.

Personal Struggles

It’s hard for me with handling criticism and being turned down,” she explains, whenever it’s suggested that the issue lies with me, I often enter a defensive state or I become unresponsive.” Although experiencing this behavior – which is often called “ego wounding”, she has been attempting to address it and take advice from her close relationships, as she strives not to return into the negative conduct of her past. “I was very emotionally abusive to my partners during adolescence,” she states. Via therapeutic interventions, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she explains she and her significant other “operate with an understanding where I’ve instructed him, ‘If I say something messed up, when I use toxic language, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her childhood mostly in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have positive role models in her youth. It’s been a process of understanding all this time what is suitable or harmful to say when arguing because I never had that as a kid,” she says. “Nothing was off-limits when my family members were belittling me during my childhood.”

Origins of The Condition

Conditions like NPD tend to be connected with childhood challenges. “There is a genetic component,” notes an expert in personality disorders. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “connected with that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “their strategy in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he states, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was conditional on meeting certain expectations. They then “persist in applying those identical strategies as adults”.

Similar to other of the individuals with NPD, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “may be narcissists themselves”. The adult shares when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “intense expectations to achieve high marks and professional advancement, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “worthy.

When he became an adult, none of his relationships were successful. Emotional investment was lacking about anyone really,” he says. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t experiencing genuine affection, until he met his current partner of three years, who is diagnosed with BPD, so, in a comparable situation, has difficulty with emotional regulation. She is “highly empathetic of the thoughts that occur in my head”, he explains – it was in fact, her who initially thought he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

Subsequent to a consultation to his general practitioner, he was directed to a clinical psychologist for an diagnosis and was informed of his condition. He has been referred for therapeutic sessions on the public health system (ongoing counseling is the main intervention that has been shown to help NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the waiting list for an extended period: It was indicated it is likely to occur maybe February or March next year.”

He has shared with a handful of people about his mental health status, because “there’s a big stigma that every person with NPD is harmful”, but, in his own mind, he has accepted it. “It helps me to understand myself better, which is beneficial,” he explains. All of the people have accepted their narcissism and are pursuing treatment for it – which is why they agree to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the disorder. But the growth of NPD content creators and the expansion of virtual networks indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number